first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
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