hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
