Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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