brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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