My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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