Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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