hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
