Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
