We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
