He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I will pee on everything he values.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
