Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
