i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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