Im at strip club and am horny
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
