You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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