it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
