you're like a bully in the Christmas story
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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