I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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