so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
