why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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