just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm really busy with my period
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