I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
