I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
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We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
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At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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