Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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