Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
