I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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