He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
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She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
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He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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