normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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