when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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