you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
