you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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