idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize