So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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