I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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