alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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