I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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