Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
