yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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