I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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