just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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