I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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