I want to make a zoo with you.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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