The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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