Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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