ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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