Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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