Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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