If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
