Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
