I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
