It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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