do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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