I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
