She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize