He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
