plz talk dirty to me
My Higher Power is John Stamos
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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