oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
