I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
