The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
