I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
