Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
