that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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